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Horn Jokes
"If at first you don't succeed then you aparantly aren't a French Horn player."
"God made some people Horn players others aren't so fortunate."
How many horn players does it take to change a light bulb? 100, one to change it, and a 99 others to say how much better they could have done it.
conductor:
leaps tall buildings in a single bound
is more powerful than a locomotive
is faster than a speeding bullet
walks on water gives policy to god
percussionist:
falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings
says "look at the choo-choo"
wets himself with a water pistol
plays in mud puddles
loses arguments with himself
saxophone player:
runs into buildings
recognizes locomotives 2 times out of 3
is not issued any ammunition
can stay afloat with a life jacket
talks to walls, argues with himself
clarinet player:
Too afraid too jump building because of their reed
Works in locomotives
too busy with reed for gun
throws reed into water
thinks reed is god
trombone player:
leaps short buildings in a single bound
is more powerful than a switch engine
is just as fast as a speeding bullet
walks on water if sea is calm
talks with god
flautist:
barely clears a Quonset hut
loses tug-of-war with locomotive
can fire a speeding bullet
swims well
is occasionally addressed by god
oboist:
leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
is almost as powerful as a switch engine
is almost as fast as a speeding bullet
walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
talks to god if special request is approved
bassoonist:
makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings
is run over by a locomotive
can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
dog-paddles
talks to animals
trumpet player:
argues with building when it won't get out of the way
sleeps in locomotive
claims it's too easy to catch bullets in teeth explaining why he really can't
saves water to drink after every triple C
thinks he's god.
horn player:
lifts buildings and walks under them
kicks locomotives off the tracks
catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
freezes water with a single glance
is god
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Other Band Jokes
What is a difference between a conductor and a Trumpet player? Two measures
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What did Johnny's mom say when Johnny said he wanted to be s a drummer when he grew up? Well honey you can't do both.
How do Trumpet players greet each other? Hi, I can play higher than you.
How can you tell which kid at the park is a trombone player? They can't swing and don't know how to use the slide.
What's the difference between alto clef and Greek? At least somebody can read Greek.
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